Tryst has been around for a while now, and the company has been picking up speed (and clients) at a rapid pace. In a very competitive market, they’re proving their worth to both workers and customers, with a feature-packed layout and lots of helpful industry education.
The team behind Tryst is Assembly Four, a collective of sex workers and tech experts. Two of their three founders - Lola and Eliza - have full-service experience. One of their biggest priorities is to ensure the team reflects the broader working community. “All of us come from marginalised backgrounds outside of sex work.”
Founder Lola is reluctant to claim the label ‘ethical’, saying it raises some issues, “Ethical is a bit of a tricky word as I, personally, don't think it's possible to run a business ethically under a capitalistic system as capitalism is inherently exploitative. In saying that, we do operate as ethically as we can in the current environment.”
Because Tryst is self-funded, the founders are free to run the company without investor influence and make decisions that are in the best interests of workers. “There are nuances within the industry which non sex workers struggle to grasp or identify. It’s vital to have a team who understands these nuances, when running a platform intended to reduce harm.”
When it comes to features, there’s a lot to talk about. Lola highlights their educational client guide, in-platform messaging, free provider verification to reduce fake accounts, and an advanced search feature. Lola also says that feedback and improvement are integral to their business. “Alongside feedback from sex workers, we also value feedback from clients. We have recently released client feedback surveys located on the dashboard in which clients are able to tell us how they use the platform and what would make their experience better, helping us improve long term.”
Like I said earlier, helping ethical advertising sites such as these succeed really does depend on clients like you. Where clients choose to go, workers follow…so why not use your consumer power to boost the businesses that take good care of both escorts and their customers?
One last bit of advice: Don't forget to mention where you saw your escort when you contact them for a booking. It means we'll be able to track whether a particular site is bringing us business, encouraging us to make the switch. And knowing why it matters helps prove to us that you’re an excellent potential client.
Many clients I speak with aren’t sure how to behave – when arranging a booking, during the encounter, or afterwards – and they’re anxious to get it right. This can lead to a search for the right things to say, gifts to buy, and sexual moves to try in the bedroom. Sometimes our need to know the ‘right’ thing to do is so pressing that it’s easy to overlook the fact that the same answer won’t apply to everyone.
Sounds obvious, right? But it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that we all work the same way. It happens a lot with women in general: when bewildered guys say, ‘What do women really want?’ they’ve forgotten that we’re individuals just like everyone else.
Assuming we all have the same needs can get you into trouble. It means that, even if you set out to do the right thing, you might get it totally wrong simply because one escort expressed a preference and you assumed it applied to everyone. If you read a Twitter post about a worker who loves flowers, don’t assume your next lady will feel the same way!
Trouble can also arise when we treat our new lovers the same way as the last. I’ve been guilty of this with new partners – sometimes I find myself relying on a sexual position or technique that someone else liked in the past, without checking to see whether my current date likes it too. It means you might not be giving someone what they enjoy… or, if you expect a particular type of service but don’t ask beforehand, you could be disappointed.
It may be frustrating to hear this. If you’re a diligent and caring client (most of my clients are) you’ve no doubt care deeply about getting things right. It’s tricky, because there’s very little information to go on at first. And worrying that you’ll ruin things if you get it wrong adds a lot of anxiety to the situation. I can understand why you might become discouraged, knowing that there’s no one correct answer.
Seeing a sex worker is a lot like seeing a massage therapist, or a counsellor, or visiting your accountant. You need to make an appointment, turn up on time and let us make professional decisions about how to give you the best possible service. If you’re stuck on a question, substitute the word ‘escort’ for any other service-type business, and see if the answer becomes obvious.
Treating your worker as a professional is a great start. But what about the ways escorting is different from other types of work? Because it’s such a personal enterprise, our bodies, safety, and privacy often need to be considered more than if we were providing a non-sexual service.
Making the effort to find general information means you won’t overwhelm your escort by asking them hundreds of questions. As you learn more abut how to see sex workers, you’ll be able to focus on the questions you really need answered – the ones you’re most anxious or unsure about.
You don’t always need to know every little detail ahead of time. There’s this standard cultural idea that when it comes to sex, we’re supposed to have all the answers…but I think that’s silly. We’re not mind readers, and since everyone is different it’s unreasonable to expect that you’re going to walk into your first escort session full of confidence.
Sometimes, simply asking at the time is the best way to find out what you need. If you’re not sure how to please your escort in bed, ask them once you’re naked together. If you’re not sure whether your worker likes reviews, send them a polite email to check before you post one online. Admitting you don’t know – and that you care enough to ask – shows character, and most escorts will dearly appreciate it.
A session with a sex worker is an encounter with a genuine human being – who has their own individual needs and desires. We’re all different – it’s part of the fun! So remember the golden rule, and never assume we’re all the same. By treating our work as a business, by doing a little research, and then by asking your escort, you’ll be able to figure it out.
When I was nineteen, I told my parents I was bisexual. They were so surprised that they weren’t able to offer any reply, apart from a strangled “Ah, okay then.” At twenty-two, a newspaper published an interview with my fetish ‘mistress’ and I, and suddenly my entire social circle knew about my predisposition for whipping and nipple clamps. And around the age of twenty-eight, I began to deliberately raise the topic of non-monogamy with potential dates so that they wouldn’t be too shocked when my eyes started to wander.
Mumbai Russian EscortsPeople use the term ‘coming out’ as though it’s something you do only once. You come out of the closet and it’s done: whatever you are, everyone knows (and hopefully accepts) you. Gay, trans, bisexual, kinky, polyamorous, intersex, whatever it is that you’ve been keeping under your hat. You’re free. The reality is, it’s not so much a matter of ‘coming out of the closet’ as coming out and going back in over and over. Or coming out only to discover you’re in a larger closet. Or coming out and having people all around you, everywhere, insist that you get back in there, fast.
Finding the right place in the conversation to raise the topic of sex work is a real challenge. I hesitate to do it immediately at a first meeting – “Hi, I’m a sex worker’ – for fear that the person will, forevermore, only remember that one detail about me. Even when the ubiquitous ‘what do you do for a living?’ question is asked, bringing up my work can be a real conversation-stopper. Most people – be it strangers, friends or family – end up completely bewildered. Waiting until later on in the relationship to mention it makes it feel like a confession, a dirty secret: ‘so, um, I have something to tell you….’
Reactions tend to fall across a spectrum ranging from lukewarm approval (‘that’s ok’) to creepy over-enthusiasm (‘wow, tell me everything!’) When I come out to someone and they don’t approve of sex work it’s fine, because we can usually have an intelligent conversation about it. The worst reaction is blankness – a sudden stop to the conversation, or a complete lack of reaction that signals intense discomfort in the listener. This is the most common reaction I’ve encountered. It makes me feel invisible, as if my identity is too shameful to even discuss. I can’t engage with them in any positive way, because their discomfort with sex or sex work prevents them from even voicing their opinion.
It affects me. So I’m careful about who I come out to. There’s a continuous thought process going on in my head – should I reveal myself to this person? When should I do it? How should I do it? It’s exhausting. Having the discussion invites ridicule but not having it can make me feel like I’m not able to be myself. Keeping something a secret makes it feel shameful. Having secrets gets in the way of friendships and relationships.
I consider myself lucky; there are many people in Australia and overseas who simply can’t afford the luxury of being open about their sex work. There are people who would be killed, jailed, rejected by their families, abandoned by their partners. Workers who could lose their ‘day’ jobs or their children, if they chose to share that part of themselves with the wrong person. I’m lucky in that I come from privileged, educated and affluent background. I have a supportive family and (mostly) supportive friends. I’m able-bodied and I don’t have any of those pesky intersectional issues that would make explaining my work to ‘straight’ people an absolute nightmare.
Luckily (and thanks to supportive friends and family), my experiences have mostly been positive. The fact that the stigma associated with coming out is still my single biggest problem with sex work should tell you something about what the less fortunate of us have to endure.
It’s a long road but I’m walking it with some very good friends and some great role models. Every time someone else in the industry comes out (or goes on TV, or writes a book, or gets involved in politics) the world gets just a little bit easier for those of us who can’t reveal our superhero identities.
If you’re witty, outgoing, and oozing with sex appeal, an escort career can be the perfect way to cash in your talents. But before the fat stacks start rolling in, you’ll need the info on how to become an escort.
Ideally, your friends and family will support your choices. However, if you can’t be open about it, you’ll need to invent a cover story to account for you working at night, on weekends, and being away for several days on trips.
If you’re a natural globetrotter with a taste for finer things, you might thrive as a travel escort. This line of work will allow you to visit the world’s top destinations free of charge — plus, you’ll get paid.
At the very least, you’ll need to get used to packing and changing time zones on short notice. And even after an exhausting flight, you’ll be expected to look and act your best and be the sexy companion that your client desires.
You might start out with an agency and go solo later or do both at the same time. It’s up to you to figure out how to be an escort in a way that suits your lifestyle and career goals.
In particular, creating a bio page will help you talk yourself up and forge an attractive persona that your clients will be dying to meet. And of course, you’ll want to post alluring pics and videos to seal the deal.
If a client gives you a bad feeling, it’s always better to opt out of the appointment. Even if your hunch is wrong, it may prevent you from providing a good service, which would be bad for your rep.
Whether you’re in town for a few days or looking to add a touch of excitement to your life, Melbourne’s vibrant escort scene is a rich tapestry waiting to be discovered. This guide will take you by the hand, lightening the mood and smoothing out any uncertainties as we delve into the captivating world of escorting in Melbourne.
In Melbourne, we like our coffee strong and our laws clear-cut, especially when it comes to escorting. Thanks to the Sex Work Act 1994, the rules are pretty straightforward – sex work is legal and regulated. So, it’s all above board as long as everyone involved knows the score and sticks to the rules. Keep it cool, keep it respectful, and enjoy the experience with peace of mind.
